Index Cards in the Rain 

A TTRPG Blog by Evey Lockhart

This is a blog that eats itself. 

You'll only ever find a single post below this explanatory bit. If you would like access to the backlog of posts, you can purchase it via the buy button below (epub and basic pdf formats). This is a one time purchase. I can guarantee several posts, but expect to make many more.

The Giant, the Alewife, & the Bean Seller

Introduction

An inn sits where no inn should exist, alongside distant rural routes rarely traversed, on low lying river islands, or even deep within trackless wilds far from civilization. It’s invitingly quaint, rustic but beautifully constructed. The smell of fried potatoes and onions beckons from within.

A single largish room holds a scattering of roughhewn tables and stools. 7 tuns of very strong cider line the opposite wall. A long table covered in cups spreads in front of the oversized barrels.

 An alewife in a floral calico dress and a mourning veil sits primly on a low stool by the hearth. With a long spoon, she busily stirs a big ol’ skillet of diced potatoes, onions, and green pinto beans.

“Welcome, y’all. Prices are simple and fair for simple fare: 2 silver pennies for a plateful and flagon, 7 brass farthings for just one of the two. If y’all are hard-up, you can steal a cup of both, on the house ‘fore y’all move along. The smiling eye of god’s often watching.”

The food is quite good, even if the bean pods are by nature quite stringy. The cider tastes like a child’s daydream of champagne. It’s also stronger than most port wines.

A leathery faced old man in canvas breeches with gleaming white teeth reclines on rucksack near the bar. Two very large cats snooze beside the fire.

Within a few minutes the old feller approaches trying to sell a couple varieties of black-eyed peas, and dry hominy out of his sack. Whether rebuffed or purchased from, the bean seller also offers up a single fist-sized, ruby-red bean.

“Oh, it’s not magic y’all, it’s a blessin’ from beloved god!” he pronounces with a wicked wink.

Moments later he leans forward and whispers, “Listen, I’ll cut the horseshit, you may-well-could know this story, but I’m damn sick of my character. I want out. Buy the bean, plant it, climb the stalk, the giant watches the back, come from the front, steal that goose, get golden eggs, free me. Please. I hate this.” “Only a farthing or maybe a bite of meat!” the Bean-seller declares, loud enough for the proprietress to hear.

The Truth

Eerht the giant, Owt the alewife, and Eno the bean-seller are not what they seem.

That fact’s likely not a surprise. However it might surprise you to know, they are all a singular being: A Shadow Unmen named Ralugnis.

Ralugnis murders folks and uses the victim’s blood to gain power. The elaborate ruse is just a bid to keep things interesting across the span of forever.

Shadow Unmen (Mirror Aelfs)

In a far, dark corner of the Feywode* living shadows dwell amongst eternal ruins and forever leafless trees. A mockery of men, in their own odd way, the Shadow Unmen playfully represent humankind’s opposite.

We are born and then die. Unmen do not; Unmen always were and will be. Humans exist within a single, discrete form. Unmen come in groups of 3, 7, or 13. Unmen need no food, nor drink, nor even air to breathe. We may freely speak truth or choose to deceive; Unmen can only lie.

Strangest of all, our physical forms cast shadows; Unmen are shadows that cast a physical form.

*A dream-like fairy world, adjacent to all places.

Common Moods/Vibes: Sowing small lies to loosen community ties. Elaborate ruses shortly before swift violence. Capture, converse, then consume all but one. Trapping Sugarplum Sprites to turn them mean. Bored but Maybe a Bit Peckish for Man-flesh, chewing meat is something to do...

3+1 Hit Dice (Each Body), +4 Bonus, Damage as Weapon.

Special:

• Shadow Unmen cannot directly tell the truth. They often rely on sarcasm, understatement, and hyperbole to circumvent this limitation.
• Shadow Unmen have multiple bodies but share a single consciousness.
• Unmen can dissolve back into shadows with 2d4 minutes of meditation. (Only 1 body needs to perform this meditation.) Until the next dawn, all Unmen shadows remain bodiless.
• Umen carry the possibility of their own homes with them. With a day of intense, ritual stillness, Unmen can create up to a dozen fully-furnished buildings, with ample stores of food and drink. These can be situated anywhere, even impossible places e.g. a castle on a cloud.
• Unmen can change their appearance daily, at sunrise.
• Direct, noontime sunshine banishes Unmen immediately back to their shadowy homeland for 1 year.
• Destroying any one of their physical bodies banishes the Unmen immediately back to their shadow homeland for 17 years.

Even More Truth

71 years ago, Ralugnis discovered a goose with feathers of literal gold! What’s more, when an egg from the golden goose is boiled in a fool’s lifeblood, it becomes imbued with strange magics.

Eating a fool’s-blood-boiled golden egg increases the consumer’s mass by half-again their current mass (+1 Strength, +1 HD)!

Consumption of such eggs also engenders a terrible and deadly addiction! Those who taste the eggs forever crave them. In fact, they must eat them daily or die!! The golden goose eggs need not be boiled in blood to keep the accursed alive, but without that step they grant no further power.

Since then, Ralugnis has been steadily embiggening one of their bodies into colossal scale.

The cloud-castle is always above the inn, invisible from the ground. The bean is simply a magical key. When planted, the ruby seed immediately grows a tangle of gigantic vines into the sky. The vines require 2-3 hours to climb and always lead to the same cloud.

Atop the clouds, a large, triangular castle sits. Two corner towers flank the 40’(12m) high gate, with the tallest tower in the back corner.

Owt and Eno, both toting big knives, give the rubes a 15-minute head-start, then follow the victims up the vines.

(A) Outside Amongst the Clouds

There’s ~100 yards of spongey, semi-solid cloud surrounding the castle.

The colossal front doors are unlocked and squeak horribly.

The tower door, around back, has been padlocked^† from the outside.

Should anyone attempt to dig into or reshape the semi-solid clouds, it requires a slow and steady hand (and successful Feat of Grace).

(B) The Hollow Palace

In an enormous triangular room, Eerht the Giantess dozes lightly before the front door. A stain-glass roof casts kaleidoscopic colors across the cloudy floor. In the back of the room, a passageway leads to (C) The Back Tower.

A mallet, pillow, and mound of human remains are easily within Eerht’s long reach. Her ears are well attuned to the sounds of her home. Unless the PCs are exceptionally quiet, she will know they’re in the castle within 1d6 minutes.

Eerht the Giantess: 10 Hit Dice, +4 Bonus, 2d6+3 Damage from Smash/Bash/Stomp. Special: +3 to Hit or Smash things. From area (A) She can reach into area (C). If necessary, Eerht can also quickly exit through the pretty ceiling.

(C) The Back Tower

A 3-flight stairwell leads to the padlocked^† closet in which the golden goose is kept. The goose has golden feathers, magical eggs, and can talk, but in all other ways he’s an ordinary bird. He’s named himself Honkhonk and absolutely despises his captors. 2d6 shed feathers of pure gold are strewn about the room, worth 100 silver each.

An arched passageway runs beneath the stairs and into (B) the Hollow Palace.

†Same key, Eno and Owt each have a copy.

©2024 Evey Lockhart. All Rights Reserved. All Cops Are Bastards.